Marriage is a tradition that has been practiced only among humans. Marriage is a tradition that has been going on since ancient times. The Rig Veda, which is considered to be the world's first written text, mentions all the Vedic mantras of marriage rituals in the context of the sun and the moon. All the activities related to marriage rituals (water eclipses, etc.) are also mentioned in the Rig Veda. What this means is that the marriage ritual has been in vogue since that time. The Atharva Veda, the latest of the four Vedas, also mentions marriage rituals.
The custom of marriage began to conduct human life in an ideal manner. Just as it is customary to give one's property to others in a ritualistic manner, the father of the bride hands over his daughter to the groom by following religious rituals.
In ancient times, there was no marriage custom. There is an interesting story in our Puranas about the marriage custom. A strong man forced the wife of the son of sage Uddalaka to be taken away by force. Seeing this, Uddalaka did not react. Uddalaka's son, Shweta Ketu, did not like the fact that his mother was being forced. He fought back. Uddalaka told his son, 'Don't stop, this is our social tradition from the beginning.' This incident affected Shweta Ketu so much that later he ended the system of forcibly taking someone else away. He advocated the system of one wife, one husband. According to another story, there was a sage named Dirghatamas. He was blind from birth. Unable to bear his unbridled sexual habits, his wife abandoned him. Seeing this, Dirghatamas made a rule that a woman should not leave her husband. Although the necessity of husband and wife is seen in all these incidents, marriage and religious rituals were not connected.
A story from the Ramayana is interesting to illustrate the importance of a wife. Ram never married anyone except Sita in his life. The Ashwamedha Yagya, which was performed after Sita was abandoned in the forest in the name of purity, could not be completed. He completed the Yagya by making a statue of Sita.
By the time of the Mahabharata, it seems that the system of four varnas had been established. In the early chapters of the Mahabharata, mention is made of the ashram religion and the pativrata religion. After going to a Gurugul to receive education and completing the Brahmacharya ashram there, the custom of getting married according to religious rituals began. Marriage began to be considered mandatory for a cultured person. It began to be considered as a sacred bond of two souls. It began to be considered incomplete as long as a person was unmarried. According to Western scholars such as Phison, Taylor, etc., the custom of a man having multiple wives developed only after immense wealth began to accumulate through various trades and settlements. Only after disputes over property rights began to arise, rules such as religious marriage with one wife and only the children of the married wife being entitled to property began to be added.
Our scriptures mention various types of marriages.
Brahma's marriage: According to this marriage, the bride is given by adorning her with ornaments, clothes, etc. In this marriage, the marriage of the bride and groom is fixed with the consent of both parties. The current arranged marriage can be called this type of marriage.
Prajapatya marriage: In such a marriage, the permission of the bride is not taken. The parents look for a suitable groom and get the bride married. The marriage is formal. Both of them take a vow of religious observance together.
Arsha Marriage: In this marriage, the bride price is paid to the bridegroom's side. It is customary for the groom's side to give a cow.
Daiva Vivah: In this marriage, a bride is given to an ascetic. She is given as a reward for some service.
During the Mahabharata period, these four marriages were considered religious.
Gandharva Marriage: In this marriage, there is no family consent. No rituals are followed. Dushyant and Shakuntala had a Gandharva marriage. According to the story, once while hunting, Dushyant accidentally reached the ashram of Maharishi Kanva. At that time, the Maharishi was not in the ashram. Dushyant performed a Gandharva marriage with Shakuntala. They had physical relations. After waiting for some time, Maharishi Kanva did not come, so Dushyant left Shakuntala there and went to the palace. While leaving, he gave Shakuntala a ring. Later, Shakuntala gave birth to a son. Carrying the son, she reached Dushyant. She lost the ring given by Dushyanta on the way. Due to the lack of the ring, Dushyanta did not accept Shakuntala. Later, the sky announced, "Accept Shakuntala," and he accepted. According to another version of this incident, Dushyanta was later cursed by Durvasa. According to the curse, he lost his memory. Later, the ring given to Shakuntala reached him through various means. After seeing the ring, he remembered the incident with Shakuntala and accepted Shakuntala along with her son.
Asura marriage: In such a marriage, the bride is accepted by the groom after paying a fee. The bride is obtained voluntarily by showing money or temptation to the bride's relatives.
Rakshasa marriage: In such a marriage, the bride does not consent. She is kidnapped and forcibly married.
In Nepal, some castes used to forcibly take away girls they liked from various gathering places. This practice has become very rare now. Such girls are not taken back home. The girl's family accepts the man who kidnapped them.
Paishacha Vivah: Raping a sleeping or intoxicated girl in solitude and forcibly taking her is called Paishacha Vivah.
The last four marriages above are considered immoral by the scriptures.
Acharya Chanakya has said about marriage, ‘Marriages performed according to the wishes of the girl’s father are religious. The other four marriages are not religious or moral. These marriages are rape of the girl. The marriage that makes everyone happy is the best. This increases everyone’s happiness.’
Since the eight types of marriage practices discussed above are mentioned, it can be assumed that such practices were prevalent at that time. It is said that in ancient times, Manu and other Smriti writers recognized these marriages by looking at the prevailing marriage customs of different castes. He had distinguished the first four marriages as for the Brahmin class, Rakshasas and Gandharvas for the Kshatriyas, and Asura marriages for the Vaishyas and Shudras. Paishacha and Asura marriages were not considered appropriate for any class of Aryans.
However, over time, marriage has gradually become a mandatory religious ritual. Our ancestors have adopted the traditions of marriage that they established according to their place, situation, caste, and nature, and made them a part of their lives. Marriage has been established as the strongest tradition of society, but over time, many things have changed, such as the style of marriage and married life.
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